Life getting complicated

Nowadays  my feeling was getting hard to choose what should i do. Especially is holiday, most of my friend think  that holiday is a good time for them to rest more. Maybe, holiday for me is really sucks...idk...i realize everything are happen so suddenly...my method to solve problem is very poor, haiz....i don't know how to continue my life. When i gonna shout to distress and comfort myself, but the thing i am alone....basically the word 'alone' already disappear in mind. Even though , i had passed my life for 18 more years with alone but nowaday this word 'alone' appear once again in my mind. It is very hard to forget it and sometime i think why i didn't have any sibling around to accompany me to have a closest conversation. 寂寞 我真的很想摆脱它~ really really hardcore~